If your life is not in jeopardy for what you
believe, you’re probably on the wrong side!
It is what you actually believe that determines how you
walk out your faith.
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Please Note: Nothing on this website should be taken as anti-Church. I am not anti-anything or anyone. I am only pro-Torah and pro-Truth (see “Philosophy”). Sometimes the Truth upsets our long-held beliefs. Why isn’t my theology consistent throughout this website?
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An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)
| +50 | New York tenants turn on the heat. Minnesotans plant gardens. |
| +40 | Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans sunbathe. |
| +35 | Italian cars don't start. |
| +32 | Distilled water freezes. |
| +30 | You can see your breath. You plan a vacation in Florida. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. Minnesotans eat ice cream. |
| +25 | Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you. |
| +20 | Cleveland water freezes. San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA. Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts. |
| +15 | You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!! Minnesotans go swimming. |
| +10 | Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. Too cold to snow. You need jumper cables to get the car going. |
| 0 | New York landlords turn on the heat. |
| -5 | You can hear your breath. You plan a vacation in Hawaii. |
| -10 | American cars don't start. Too cold to skate. |
| -15 | You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Miamians cease to exist. Minnesotans lick flagpoles. |
| -20 | Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens. |
| -25 | Too cold to kiss. You need jumper cables to get the driver going. Japanese cars don't start. Minnesota Twins head for spring training. |
| -30 | You plan a two-week hot bath. Bock beer production begins. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. |
| -38 | Mercury freezes. Too cold to think. Minnesotans button top button. |
| -40 | Californians disappear. Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you. Minnesotans put on sweaters. |
| -50 | Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window. Green Bay Packers practice indoors. |
| -60 | Walruses abandon the Aleutians. Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens. Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby. |
| -70 | Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets. Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI. |
| -80 | Polar bears abandon Baffin Island. Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby. |
| -90 | Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles. Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer. |
| -100 | Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans pull down earflaps. |
| -173 | Ethyl alcohol freezes. |
| -445 | Superconductivity. |
| -452 | Helium becomes a liquid. |
| -454 | Hell freezes over. |
| -456 | Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90. |
| -458 | Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution. |
| -460 | (Absolute Zero) All atomic motion ceases. Minnesotans allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy. |
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